Let Me Show You How Its Done

Molly the Dinosaur, a clay model "by me" in 1st grade (with mom's help)

Growing up as a rather bookish, school-loving nerd, there was a lot of parent engagement in my learning journey.  I’m not sure if my home life helped solidify these traits which would have existed otherwise or if I was a product of great, involved parents.  I’ll paint the picture: my parents always read to me (a variety of books and articles and even the ingredients on the pancake mix).  They helped me with my homework (and then some) and they always were there to save the day on a diorama that wouldn’t stand up right or to help figure out a tricky math problem (re: every math problem I was ever assigned).  I was lucky and I did well in school.  They didn’t do my work for me, but they supported me, shared ideas and modeled how to do certain things properly or more efficiently or with more finesse.  

Nowadays, especially now being a teacher, I unfortunately see that parent involvement isn’t always there.  Some parents are too busy and some don’t know how to help.  Some (if they can afford it) hire tutors.  Others pack in the extra curricular activities (also great, don’t get me wrong) but leave little time for school work or enrichment.  Whatever the reason, and it varies greatly from child to child, it can be an issue that will impact the child’s school success, and its one that I’m trying to avoid for my own son.  As a parent and a teacher, I’m not a huge fan of homework, but for practice sake, I am, especially if the child requires extra support above and beyond what they receive within the school’s walls.  Now Charlie is only 2 and years away from any (official) school programming, but I am trying to expose him to as much art and literacy and math in fun ways as I can now in an effort to give him a good foundation for JK.  

The other day, at playgroup, where I consciously take him to expose him to social scenarios involving many children to encourage sharing, cooperative play, and group learning, I found myself questioning both my parenting and teaching ability.  I was at a fork in the road and I couldn’t decide which path to take.  

Here’s what went down: An ECE student at a local college was at the drop in center as part of her internship and had organized all the day’s crafts.  The fork in the road came during a tissue paper and glue craft which was supposed to culminate in a breezy mixed media seaside scene.  I looked at the example and gathered the materials for Charlie’s piece.  First of all, I knew I was forcing Charlie to be artistic in a moment where he really just wanted to kick puzzle pieces across the room.  “Do you want to do this craft?” I told him rather than asked him, as I plunked him down on the chair.  “Here is the glue.  Put some on the paper down here so the water can stick” I ordered as I waved some turquoise tissue in front of his face.  “See?” holding up the example like Vanna White, “this tissue will be for the water.” As he motioned eating the glue off the mini spatula I decided to wipe the glue onto the paper for him.  “That’s right” I said, really just complimenting my own work.  “Now press some BLUE tissue on top to look like the waves!” He stared blankly at me and tried to eat more paste (to his credit, paste does look an awful lot like Vanilla yoghurt).  I finished the craft for him and wrote his name on it.  I was wiping and cleaning as we went.  His activity center had mise en place for goodness sake.  I found myself avoiding mess and in doing so curbed any and all of his freedom to be creative.  The fork in the road was missed for me, but it became clear after the fact when I witnessed another mom who let her daughter get filthy and sticky with glue and create a dog’s breakfast piece of “art” if you wish to call it that.  Any art buff worth his salt would be hard pressed to find even an echo of an oceanic or nautical theme in her work. However she looked darn pleased with herself and asked to do another while the first piece dried.  Charlie was back climbing up the baby slide in (now bare) feet (where on earth did he put his socks and shoes?)  I chose to take the path of overbearing direct instructor as opposed to a discovery model of learning.  Charlie still doesn’t know what white glue feels (or tastes) like and he hasn’t got cotton baton (excuse me, cumulonimbi clouds) stuck under his fingernails.  And its all my fault.  I robbed him of a real art experience.  I was focused on the product and not the process.  Wrong, wrong, WRONG!

I find myself questioning this very thing in a kindergarten classroom only days later.  The children are gathered on the carpet working together to build “mat man” a large wood and felt “puzzle” of an anatomically correct human.  There is a circle for the head and two big round eyes, arms, legs, etc.  It is a kinesthetic way of learning about the face and body so that they can move away from stick figures and draw more lifelike people in their work.  But I ask myself, do you just let kids continue to draw their body-less globs with one eye and hair but no mouth hands or legs - and compliment them, hoping that soon, they will realize that most people have 2 eyes and bodies and they will self correct?  Or, do you criticize their work and say, “Nice green grass, Liam, however that man mowing the lawn (or pouring out a bucket of red paint, I’m not sure) doesn’t have any arms or legs! Go back and draw some please!”

Do you let creativity reign or do you model and share the process - guiding them toward the desired (or your desired) outcome?