Quit Toying With My Emotions

Its not just the prerogative of grandparents anymore

One of my son’s favourite pastimes is to read a catalogue for Mastermind Toys.  He will  go to the book shelf (yes, it has book shelf status in our house) and make a point to look for it, and then he’ll sit and study every single toy in there.  He finds a lot of joy in it, exclaiming loudly, “Wow!” and “Yeah!” when he points out his very favourite toys (mostly those toys with wheels).  I recently had the brainwave of bringing him into a toy and hobby store at Mapleview mall where I experienced 21 month old fury at being penned into a stroller and forced to “look and don’t touch”. That’s not an option for my son.  Screaming doesn’t quite capture the extreme vocalized disdain he had for me when I kept trying to soothe him with redirection and reassurance, “look at this one! no I’m sorry honey we can’t play with these toys.”  I felt like a complete ass and promptly beelined for the exit.  You see, Charlie understands the difference between print ads for toys (2D) as in, not real, can’t touch and 3D (real, physical objects that EXIST) as in, can and should be able to touch.  He did not however, understand why I would bring him to such a wonderland of commercialism and then restrain him from touching anything.  He pouted for a good hour after that and his puffy, tear-stained cheeks made me feel like a moron for the next 24.   But I’m not writing here to confess my toy store + nearly 2 year old conundrum, I’m writing about my own problem for buying things that I feel Charlie should have, nay needs to have.  

Prior to motherhood, I was known to indulge in the best wines and foodie goodies, trendy clothes and jewelry, spa treatments, highlights.  I would say I enjoyed shopping for myself.  Now I channel my love of cute things into buying toys and clothes for Charlie.   You see, buying a toy for your kid is pretty satisfying, some might call it addicting.  The joy you feel when you pick out just the right thing and he plays with it happily afterward, suddenly inseparable from it.   It makes you feel really warm and tingly in a materialistic sort of way.  But the really funny thing about toys and kids is that, they may want something in the store, and so you cave and give in and satisfy their whim and then well, it sits untouched collecting dust in your house.  What I’ve discovered, especially in social situations like play group where there is a body of toys to SHARE is that what kids really want is the toy that the other kid is playing with.  It is the best toy.  And then when they get that toy, the other toy being used is the one they want.  I guess I’ve entered sharing 101.  The grass is always greener mentality starts young!  I’ll try not to do a Foucaultian analysis on children sharing 1 coveted toy but I want to talk about something else.  Found material makes excellent toys.  

On our recent trip to Vancouver, the plastic beverage cup the flight attendant handed Charlie was way better than the 25 kg of primary colored, plastic distraction I paid to haul on board with me to occupy Charlie.  Twigs are also very cool, dead bugs, trash at the park that Charlie must pick up and put in the garbage (so sanitary), things he’s not supposed to play with make excellent toys too (the cordless phone, tv remote, mom’s tampons).  And lately, he’s been on a domestic jag, favouring the swiffer broom, mini dust pan and hand broom, dust buster, etc.  He even inspects the waste baskets around the house and brings them to me to put in the big kitchen garbage if they’re getting full (e.g. if they have 1 thing in them).  Did I mention he is 21 months old?  I’m quite ok with having him circle the house pushing a swiffer broom - it saves me loads on Molly Maid!   

My final remark on the subject of toys relates to second handiness (a skill every spoiling mom should possess).  Once Upon A Child, Value Village, Garage Sales, Mom-to-Mom sales, Church sales, Kijiji, Craigslist, Momstown, etc.  USE these.  There is no point at paying full price for something your son is going to submerge in the toilet, throw down the stairs, use as a stepping stool, put down his diaper or peel the decals off of.