Glimpses of Stellar Parenting

attempting to exercise patience at meal time

I just finished rereading Mommie Dearest.  My step-grandma gave it to me because it was the one book I always took off of her shelf and leafed through as a young girl.  (That and an illustrated tour of Graceland by Priscilla Presley).  I never wanted to be anything like Joan Crawford as a mother.  Obviously not.  She was portrayed by her daughter as demanding, critical, evil, even insane.  Sometimes I say things and I hear a bit of Joan in my voice.  Oh dear.  What do I expect? He’s only 2! He’s discovering and learning, he doesn’t know!  I always wanted to be a blend of Marilla and Matthew as a parent (Anne of Green Gables reference) - a mix of mushy-sentimental and strong/ no-nonsense.  I started thinking about my own mom - pretty darn patient woman considering.  She had her moments, her special saying for those trying moments where we didn’t want to do as she’d asked: life’s tough and then you die. When she said that, we knew she meant it and we generally smartened up and acquiesced.  Life is hard.  I don’t have it bad now, don’t get me wrong.  My whole family is healthy and relatively happy (knock on wood).  Things could always be better, but then again, they could always be worse (like "We Need to Talk About Kevin" worse).  Much, much worse.  Being a movie lover I started to think through all the movies I’d seen where the parents exhibited some pretty stellar patience.  Some unconditional love.  They were open-minded, they let bad (not life-threatening) but tough things happen to their kids so that they’d learn their own lessons, they weren’t over protective.  They were relatively liberal. My own wishes for myself as a parent are to be these things: to not try to fit Charlie into a box, to let him be himself (to a point) and to socialize him in ways that aren’t over-the-top strict, but that will allow him to be liked by others (and maybe even a teacher’s go-to helper).  

Movies Where The Parents Rock (Despite being sometimes overbearing, pig-headed, short-sighted, poor communicators and selfish)

Baby Boom (Diane Keaton)
Father of the Bride (Steve Martin and Diane Keaton)
Steel Magnolias (Sally Field and Tom Skerritt)
The Family Stone (Craig T Nelson and a very hard to love Diane Keaton)
Rachel Getting Married (Bill Irwin)
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock)
The Blindside (Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw)
I Am Sam (Sean Penn)
Twilight (Billy Burke and Sarah Clarke in a cheesy loveable way)
Little Miss Sunshine (Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette)
Pieces of April (Oliver Platt and Patricia Clarkson)
Spanglish (Adam Sandler and Tea Leoni)
The Pursuit of Happyness (Will Smith)
My Girl (Dan Aykroyd)
Pretty in Pink (Harry Dean Stanton)
Juno (J.K. Simmons)