Sharing Is Caring

don't even think about it, mom

My son does not share well.  I’m sure he will, one day, but that day has not come.  Right now, if you, say, ask for a piece of his grilled cheese, the response is a resounding “Noooooo!” (sometimes, “No sank you,” but only if you’re lucky).  If you really play it up, milk it and whine “Pleeease? I’m SOOO hungry!” He will pause, think and then still say “No.”  I don’t know what my husband and I are doing wrong.  We sing the Raffi “Sharing Song” as if its a Top 40 hit. We always say “Sharing is Caring” and Charlie even repeats it.  We’ve even taken up clowning in an effort to teach, for “modeling” sake.  In a pantomime fashion, Mommy and Daddy share everything (me with my husband and he with me) and we lay the manners on thick too “Thank you so much for sharing this delicious apple with me daddy.  I was hoping you’d give me a bite and you did! Oh boy!”  Charlie just rolls his eyes and walks away “Charlie’s apple” he says, clutching his Northern Spy tightly.    

You’d think having 3 young cousins around to share toys with would help.  You’d think our twice weekly visits to the local Ontario Early Years drop in Centers, where sharing is sacrosanct, would have rubbed off on him atleast a little.  Well it hasn’t. Recently, for example, we went to the center for some play time with different toys, to play with new kids.  We were first to arrive.  Big mistake.  This sends Charlie the following message, I’m sure: Behold, Sir Charles, your very own play mansion filled with whatever toy you desire. Enjoy.  Then, of course, as it is a public place (and free, and awesome) lots of other mommies arrive with their kidlets to escape the Murky Dismal weather.  The Bob the Builder toy set Charlie has been enjoying (alone) is suddenly “under attack” as other curious children arrive and bee-line for it.  Charlie enters high-alert disaster mode and starts wailing, tears spurting from his eyes as if he’s swallowed a habenero.  He runs to me and collapses in my lap.  Its a travesty.  

Desperate, I search my local library for books on sharing.  I found one called “Mine” by Patrice Barton.  Its a book about two toddlers who fight over everything and all they keep yelling is “MINE!” and trouble ensues when their puppy starts stealing and destroying everything they fight over.  I think its a little over his head because all he does is laugh hysterically at it, especially when the teddy bear ends up soaked in the dog dish after doing an aerial over the entire living room.  This book is NOT teaching Charlie to share.  What will?