I Know What I Want and I Want It Now

Operation: Tantrum Management

Charlie has recently started expressing very strong preferences for things.  Some might call him willful.  Others may say he’s domineering.  He’s almost two.  No, I will not let myself call it the “terrible twos” that’s so cliche and I’m not there yet so I haven’t really technically experienced it and can’t assume the label.  I’ll paint the picture.

6:30 AM Wakes up, opens door and, from crib, sweetly coos, “Oh, Moommmmmy!”

6:33 AM Mom shuffles sleepily to the doorway and says playfully and with an intent to start the day off on a whimsical note, “Who’s there?”

6:34 AM Charlie screams and yells no and throws himself onto the mattress in his crib, mom tries to cajole him and rubs his back.  “Are you still sleepy? Want to go back to sleep?”

6:35 AM Charlie hits mom’s hands away and moans, “Arghwahwahwah” Like a wounded, whimpering mule.

6:36 AM Mom goes back to bed, from bed she says, calmly, “Ok, Charlie go back to sleep then.”

6:37 AM Charlie is silent and then screams a foundation-rattling wail which knocks picture frames off their nails throughout the hallway, “UP!!! NOW!!! PEEESE?”

This is how we BEGIN our days.  

He’s also mastered the “wet noodle” maneuver whenever I need to pick him up to move him out of harms way or dress or undress him.  Diaper changes? Forget about it.  Its like he’d rather sit in his own refuse than humor me to lie still for a mere 30 seconds.  I swear I could probably do it in even less time if he’d just HOLD STILL.  Socks? Rather go barefoot.  Shoes? Are you insane? Brush your teeth? Ok, yes, I’ll take the toothbrush, oh wait, I thought I heard you say to brush the tile grout!  “Here Charlie, have the last bite of your chicken finger” He coyly takes it and then hurls it to the floor, tiny specks of breading becoming lodged between every nook and cranny and luring neighbourhood ants into our home.  

I know that this is a phase, a milestone even, if you look it up in What To Expect The First Two Years: Toddler Edition it likely foreshadows this set of behaviours rather accurately and calls it Displays of Attitude.  I’m fine with it.  Its cute at times.  He’s developing his personality, his likes and dislikes, he’s expressing himself and communicating and what’s crazy is, its up to me, and how I react that is teaching him, in the moment, whether or not that behaviour is tolerated.  I’m socializing him and this terrifies me as I’m a rather sarcastic and impatient person.

He’s also a bit of a parrot recently repeating back everything I say.  “Is there an echo in here?” he just said with (if not perfect pronunciation) perfect intonation.  Earlier today it was, “Darnit!” and “What the HECK?!” We really have to kindergarten-ize our expressions.  What a little potty mouth!